and so, I said, “I will.”

Last night,
Mary wound my hair
tightly in rags before bed –
so the ringlets fell
across my breast.
Mama’s bow set
high on my head,
her veil thickly misting
across reddened eyes,
set jaw, firm resolve.

She pulled the new strings
so tightly
that my breath caught-
shallow, butterfly sips;
the air fluttered so,
last December,
as you pulled me closer
and spun tightly
for the waltz.

The borrowed overskirt,
Judas silver in the morning sun;
your hair shone as such,
strands on the pillowcase
glints in the moonlight
long after
slipping from my bed.

The locket latched
around my neck,
enameled with violet irises
(your eyes so blue
whispering goodnight).

A sixpence for my shoe,
bought and paid for,
finishing the customs
that must be followed
to the bitter end.

I carried with me
down the long aisle,
aloe: grief, sadness,

I pledged my vows,
deceit laden,
flavored with dishonesty.
I dressed for you tonight,
my love,
so far, across the bloody ocean.

This challenge, from Mr. Panda and Susan, was horrid. πŸ™‚ I don’t consider that I met the challenge, but I’m back to work tomorrow, and it has to stand as is. LOL PLEASE feel free to participate, however. Don’t let my whining put you off …

Our new challenge is this. Write a poem using apostrophe, the theme is saudade, and it must include the line β€œlove across a bloody ocean” somewhere.

Yep, complicated, but it was Susan and myself who cooked it and she has promised to take half the blame ;)

Apostrophe: a figure of speech in which someone absent or dead or something nonhuman is addressed as if it were alive and present and was able to reply.

Saudade: accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love.

Saudade rather lends itself to apostrophic writing so hopefully it’s not too much of a stretch. (and it gave me the chance to say apostrophic like I know what I’m talking about!

14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ramblingsfromamum
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 04:13:05

    In my eyes you have done it Mims, every line rings like a symphony in my ears.
    Loved it! πŸ™‚


  2. Susan L Daniels
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 04:44:53

    WM, I love it–all whining aside, it was wonderful, and I promise, cross my heart, I will not add a twist to the panda’s prompts any more. Please, please forgive me? The difficult challenge resulted in some wonderful poetry, though–yours included!

    Did you get the invite to the blog? If not, please e-mail me your WP user ID…


  3. prewitt1970
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 05:21:51

    You truly are a brilliant writer, lovely words.


  4. johnnycrabcakes
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 05:47:57

    Love it mimsy–heart breaking, so sad, I swear I can see her looking, head turned to the side and down, chin almost resting on collar-bone….wistful, resolved…lovely.


  5. Miriam E.
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 07:38:30

    how did you think this could be described with ‘UGH’?! lol
    it is wonderful! so very touching – i love the perspective you chose… and i have to admit it made me cry a little. beautifully done.


  6. ruleofstupid
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 11:09:51

    Great stuff! Another total change of style from the collection. You set and maintain tone so well – and “Judas silver / aloe, grief” catch something solid and indefinable just right.
    I’m beginning to think we should gather these results up for some kind of ‘anthology’.


  7. agjorgenson
    Jan 02, 2013 @ 23:35:45

    “shallow, butterfly sips;
    the air fluttered so” … that is just beautiful, if I may say “so”


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